Hiding Behind the Veil of Resilience

Too often, I’ve heard educators justify this violence by claiming it builds resilience or cultivates grit. I’ve lost count of how many times adults have told Black children that the challenges they face—often rooted in bias, neglect, or punitive systems—will make them stronger. This language, dressed up in the rhetoric of character development, allows harmful practices to persist while shifting the burden of survival onto the child. It is a damaging sleight of hand that excuses harm and erases accountability.

This dangerous framing contributes to the ongoing dehumanization of Black children. How can we expect them to build legacies or lean into their full potential when they’re constantly bracing for the next instance of educational violence, low expectations, or exclusion? Instead of nurturing joy, creativity, and wholeness, we ask them to endure and adapt.